Monday, November 9, 2015

Beagle Birthday Reflections

It's that special time of the year to give the Broken Pawn over to America's favorite beagle bloggers - Daisy and Baxter

Hi Everybody! It’s Daisy…  and Baxter with another blog for our readers. It’s about time Hank let us write another blog Daisy.  I’ll say! I didn’t mind Hank writing on and on about playing chess in Minnesota because he won $65 dollars that he can use to buy us beef stick treats.  But then he went to South Dakota to play chess and he didn’t win any money to buy us beef stick treats but he still kept writing about playing chess and how the chess tournament was in a zoo and he saw zoo animals and there were a bunch of stuffed animals.  How boring. There’s no need to write about zoo animals and mounted animals when Hank lives with the two most interesting animals in the world.  Really! Who?  That’s us you silly Baxter! HELLO!  Oh yeah, I forgot how interesting we were for a second. 

Here we are eating premium dog food out of a can in our new coats. I blend into the background in my camo coat so well you can hardly see me!  There I am at the duck pond in my new heart coat!

Maybe some of our readers didn’t know that we had our birthday yesterday! Happy Birthday Daisy!  Happy Birthday Baxter! We turned five years old and thanks to all our fans that sent us birthday wishes and presents. What was your favorite present, Baxter?  That’s easy! My favorite present was premium dog food out of a can! YUM! I love premium dog food out of a can. It’s so moist and meaty.  I like premium dog food out of a can also but my favorite present was my new coats. In the spring Kathy got me a new hot pink leash and it just didn’t make the statement I wanted with my brown coat. My new coats are both pink and match my leash. One coat has a dog bone pattern for everyday wear and the other has hearts and a stylish button for a sassy yet refined look.  I got two new coats too! One is blue and the other is a camouflage coat. When I walk down the street in my camo coat I could be an action hero like Chuck Norris or Steven Seagal! 

Steak! YUM!!
Steven Seagal is so dreamy! I love his ‘Under Siege’ movies where he plays Casey Ryback the master chef and human killing machine!  Yeah. It’s too bad Steven Seagal didn’t send us a birthday card or a specially prepared meal. YUM!! I love specially prepared meals.  I was so sad Steven didn’t send us a birthday card but Kathy’s friend Amy gave us a steak this year!  That’s right! She said her family was cooking steaks and one was a little tough so she gave it to us! YUM!!! I didn’t think it was tough at all. YUM!!  A couple of months later she sent us another steak. They were both very tasty and we wish Hank and Kathy would take the hint and feed us steak on a regular basis. HELLO!  YUM! I love steak. YUM!  And don’t forget our friend Becky from down the block. She got us five giant Jack Links beef sticks!  YUM!! I love giant Jack Link’s beef sticks. We even got to see Becky’s mom Marilyn yesterday!  Marilyn and Bill and Abby the Cairn terrier live down the block next door to Becky. We visit with them when the weather is warm. Bill and Marilyn are really old and don’t like the cold weather so we won’t see them much until spring.  That’s why it was extra special to see Marilyn yesterday. 

It was so difficult to do everyday things wearing that stupid collar...  I didn't have to wear a collar all year so I could concentrate on more important things...

It sure has been a great year with steak, plenty of walks, and lots of beef stick treats, Daisy!  That’s very true Baxter, but don’t forget we had some difficulties along the way this year.  That’s right! I had to get my teeth cleaned and I accidentally bit Hank on the leg when I was trying to protect him from the crazy looking husky that got loose by the Depot liquor store.  I had some cosmetic surgery this year. I had a big wart under my chin removed and while I was at it I decided to have some skin tags removed.  Don’t you want to tell everyone where your skin tags were, Daisy?  Not especially. I had stitches and had to wear a collar for two whole weeks in the summer. It was so uncomfortable but I made the sacrifice for all my fans who want me to look as good as possible.  The skin tags were on your rear end. The vet had to shave your behind…hee…hee…hee. You sure looked funny.  Well thanks for sharing Baxter! As long as we’re sharing let’s be sure to mention that you bit Hank on the back of his leg while you were cowering behind him, not protecting him.  WAS NOT!  WAS TOO!  WAS NOT! I was trying to bite the husky and Hank got in the way.  OK. Baxter. Have it your way…sigh 

There was one thing we didn’t get for our birthday that I really wanted, Baxter.  What’s that Daisy?  I wanted to see more recognition for dogs in general and beagles in particular. I hardly ever see any dogs on television when Hank watches his shows.  What about the German Shepard on The Last Ship, Daisy?  He is a fine specimen but the German Shepard on Fear The Walking Dead didn’t make it past episode two and the only dogs on The Walking Dead were shot by Sasha!  And then Rick and the rest of the crew cooked the dogs and ate them! YUCK! 

Maybe if dogs had a better profile Harry the cockatiel would stop making fun of us.  Why is Harry making fun of us Baxter?  Harry says that there aren’t any professional baseball or football or basketball teams named after dogs but there are tons named after birds like the Falcons, Seahawks, Blue Jays, Hawks, Orioles.  I did hear him chattering about the Pelicans, Ravens, Eagles, and Cardinals but I didn’t know he was making fun of us. I wonder why there aren’t any pro sports teams named after dogs. There are plenty of college teams that are named after dogs but they're all Bulldogs for some reason.  It’s really kind of embarrassing. Even fish have sports teams named after them like the Dolphins!  Well Baxter I know what I want for my next birthday!  What’s that Daisy?  There’s a football team in Washington that has to change their name because it’s so offensive.  You mean the Redskins? I thought they were named after red skin potatoes. I love red skin potatoes! YUM!!  No Baxter, they aren’t named after red skin potatoes. For our next birthday I want to name the Redskins the Washington Beagles!  Then I know what I want for my present, Daisy!  What’s that?  I want Direct TV’s NFL package so I can watch the Washington Beagles play.  That’s a great present, Baxter. Then Hank can watch the games with us and we can share his snacks like pretzels and chips and salsa!  Oh Boy! I love pretzels and chips and salsa! YUM!! 

Wait 'till next year...  Can we get a picture of pretzels or chips in here? YUM!!