Getting your head on straight

  The Yankees have finally clinched a spot in the playoffs, but have stumbled badly by losing 6 of 8 games after winning the first 2 games of a 4 game series against the Devil Rays. They went from having a 2 game lead on the rest of the league and having the home field advantage until the World Series to the likely wild card spot. In order to get to the World Series they’ll have to win 2 series on the road. I have very little faith that the Yankees will be playing long in October. The pitching has been atrocious all month. C.C. Sabathia can match up with anyone, but was not up to the task in last week’s 10-2 loss to the Devil Rays that would have all but clinched the division. After Sabathia, there is not one Yankee starting pitcher I would trust on the mound. Pettite has been hit hard since he came back from injury, Burnett has been hit hard all year, and Hughes pitches just good enough to lose in big games. The relievers have shown some improvement as of late, but the great Mariano Riveria has been blowing games and looks pretty shaky in the games he does manage to save. It is disappointing to see his age seriously showing. Joba Chamberlain should have the closer this year, but he has regressed and probably will never live up to his promise. Pitching wins in the playoffs and this year’s Yankees pitching staff reminds me a lot of the teams that made early exits in the ’05,’06, and ’07 playoffs.

  The only advantage I can see for the Yankees is their experience in winning the championship last year. It is possible that they can get through the Twins or the Rangers because they have the confidence to succeed in the playoffs, but this 2010 Twins team seems a lot more mentally tough than the 2009 team that kept botching simple fielding plays and getting runners thrown out on the bases. Because of their awesome starting pitching, I expect the Phillies to win the world championship this year. They have 3 top starters and have been playing lights out since they got their better hitters back from injury. They also have the championship experience advantage, winning the World Series 2 years ago and losing to the Yankees in the series last year. I am very happy they made the postseason instead of the filthy Red Sox, but Yankee fans can only consider a successful season one that ends with the world championship.

  The football Giants are a team that decidedly does not have their head on straight. After beating an awful Carolina team at home and losing to a very good Colts team on the road, the Giants were at home against a fair Tennessee Titans team last Sunday and the game was on our local TV, a rare break from the steady diet of Vikings, Packers, Bears, and Chief games I normally get. Unfortunately, the Giants were sloppy and undisciplined and lost a game they had every opportunity to win. Fumbles, interceptions, and missed field goals in scoring territory complemented the 11 penalties (including stupid personal fouls) made the Giants look like one of the worse teams in the league and got me wondering if the Colts were really that good or if the Giants were really that bad.

  I helped to straighten some heads this week, myself. Our local newspaper had not been delivered for a week straight and we had to call every night to get it delivered. On Sunday it wasn’t delivered again and I didn’t call until I got back from church at 10:10. Of course, you had to call before 10 for the delivery before the circulation department closes for the day, so no paper. On Monday when it wasn’t delivered yet again, I called the circulation department to ask for the paper and offered to cancel my subscription until they could figure out a way to deliver the paper since it would be no more expensive and a lot less aggravating to just get one from the store on my way home from work if it wasn’t going to be waiting for me. I also mentioned that the circulation department was probably as sick of me calling as I was. I got no argument on that point, but my subscription was credited for my trouble and the paper has arrived every day since. I had brought my sons laptop to a computer repair shop to be fixed last Friday (he dropped it and it won’t boot up) and was told I’d get a call on Saturday to come pick it up. I did not get a call on Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday so I called to say that I’d just like to pick it up and if they hadn’t worked on it, that was OK. I called again today and the owner who told me it would be done on Saturday said he thought it was done. Thought. I said it either was or wasn’t done and could he stop thinking and start telling. He compromised on it being almost done and offered to cut my bill a bit for my trouble. I’ll pass on the offer and consider it a parting gift.

  I am heading straight to the end of my exercise resolutions. Last year I crawled to the finish line after almost stopping for a month, but this year I’m sprinting to the finish.

Pushups 7545 (out of 8000)
Stationary Bike 520 (out of 525 miles)
Blogs 78 (out of 104)

The Big "O"

  At work last week, we had a health screening for employees and spouses. A team of nurses measured our height and weight, took blood for a cholesterol reading machine, and asked a lot of questions. It only took about 15 minutes. While the nurse was waiting for the blood machine to spit out the cholesterol numbers, she asked me a few questions about my diet and exercise routines. I explained my daily pushups and stationary bicycle routines and how I bring a bag of apples, oranges, and lemons to work every day with my sandwiches for lunch. I also explained that I don’t take any medications. I assume this is a rarity, since this fact almost always impresses the health professionals that ask what medications I’m on.

  This nurse did not seem very impressed. She told me that I could cut some calories by using a pita type of bread in my sandwich and substituting vegetables for my apples and oranges, with no admiration for my medication-free state. I knew I was a little overweight, so I chalked it up as her passing the time by dispensing the normal advice.

  When the blood results came back, it said I had a high level of the bad cholesterol. The nurse also showed me a chart of my height and weight that showed me as being OBESE. Not only was I OBESE, I’d have to lose 30 pounds to be merely overweight and then if I could lose another 30 more, I’d be considered normal. Even then, I’d be on the high side of normal.

  I am very concerned at being labeled OBESE. When I played tennis Saturday night, I wondered if the cracks in the court surface were from my pounding on it with my OBESE footsteps. When I went to the Wal-Mart, were people looking at me and snickering or did I just fit right in with the rest of the OBESITIES around me? When I was at the supermarket getting a sample of barbecued meat, I swore I saw the old lady giving out the samples roll her eyes. When I got home, I looked up the Yankees roster and saw that according to this chart, Nick Swisher is also OBESE. Now I have a new favorite player. GO NICK!!!

  After getting a good night’s sleep, I’ve decided to look on the bright side of being OBESE. Until I can get my weight down to the pipe-cleaner proportions of the nurses’ chart, there is a possibility of getting a handicap sticker for my car. I am also thinking that I can get a part time job as Santa Claus this winter. And now that I'm officially OBESE, maybe I can be an athletic champion. Surely there must be some 'OBESE Games' or the 'OBESElympics' for people like me. If not, I'll have to look at getting a copyright and organizing my own games. It could be a TV sensation.

  Seriously though, I am placing the largest responsibility for my OBESITY on my friends at British Petroleum. Worrying about the prospect of a shortage of seafood and the future price of gasoline has made me into an over eater. I’ll have to go online for the claim forms, but maybe I can get some portion of the 20 billion dollars for my suffering.

New Year Resolutions
Blogs 49 (out of 104)
Pushups 4845 9out of 8000)
Stationary Bicycle Miles 311 (out of 525)

...I'd like to see some of my OBESE brothers top that!

Happy New Year

  On to another year. I made my resolutions for last year by October (350 miles on a stationary bike, 7000 perfect pushups), so this year I will push the envelope some more

1. 525 miles on the stationary bike
2. 8400 perfect pushups
3. 104 blogs

  Happy New year to all!