Thursday, November 10, 2016

Beagle Birthday Pontifications

It's time once again for America's most prolific beagle bloggers - Daisy and Baxter to take over the Broken Pawn. Our normally optimistic beagles glee at celebrating their birthday has been shadowed by a recent run of depressing news.

Hi Everyone! Baxter here… …and Daisy with another blog for our readers. What should we talk about for this blog, Baxter? Our birthday of course! We turned 6 years old on Tuesday! Happy Birthday Daisy! Happy Birthday, Baxter. It’s a shame the coverage of our birthday was overshadowed by the silly election. I know. It's too bad Hillary Clinton didn't get elected. When she was the first lady she had a Labrador Retriever called Buddy. And a cat called Socks. She would have been a good president for beagles because of the letter she sent us. Yes! She wrote to tell us how she saves every scrap of meat and sliver of cheese from her plate! If she was President she could have fed all those scraps and slivers to beagles like us! YUM!! I love scraps of meat and slivers of cheese! YUM!!

How exciting to get a letter from an almost President!

I love scraps of meat and slivers of cheese too Baxter, but I love our birthday presents even more. We got rib eye steaks from the Dollar Tree for our birthday… YUM!! I love rib eye steaks from the Dollar Tree even more than scraps of meat! But not as much as a whole plate of meat! YUM!! I love plates of meat! YUM!! I wish we could get plates of meat for our birthday! And we got premium dog food out of a can! I love premium dog food out of a can so much more than the dry dog food we get the rest of the year. YUM!! I love premium dog food out of a can! YUM!! And Kathy got us a giant bag of premium beef stick treats! YUM!! It was wonderful to get so much food for our birthday, Baxter. I like the new coat I got for my birthday but it’s from the Wal-Mart. Kathy and Hank had a trip planned to Chicago last week to get me the latest beagle outerwear fashions…

Here I am in my new Amazon camo coat! I'm not thrilled with my Wal-Mart coat but I loved getting Ribeye Steak from the Dollar Tree for my birthday!

But you got sick and they couldn’t go. I didn’t mind because instead of staying at the kennel we stayed home with Hank and Kathy. And I got a new camo coat from Amazon for my birthday. Apparently the Wal-Mart didn’t have a coat masculine enough for a manly beagle like me. I think Wal-Mart didn’t have a coat that was large enough to get around your stomach. My new coat is fine but it’s so Wal-Mart. I hope no one thinks Hank lost his job or anything when they see me wearing it. They’ll know things are just fine when they see me in my new coat from Amazon!

It was a rough year. Bill and Marilyn passed away, Daisy got sick last week, and I hurt my back...

I love our birthday but it’s so depressing getting old, Baxter. I had an assortment of ailments just before Hank and Kathy were supposed to go to Chicago last week. I had a yeast infection in my ear and an eye infection and sinus congestion all at once. I’m getting older and I’m pretty depressed about it too. I hurt my back in the summer and had to ride around in a wagon instead of walking. I liked riding around in the wagon but I like walking too. Bill and Marilyn down the block got too old and they both died this year. It was so sad. I loved visiting with them on their porch when the weather was nice. I feel bad for Abby the Cairn Terrier that lived with Bill and Marilyn. She must be so lonely. Don’t worry Baxter. Bill and Marilyn’s daughter Becky moved into their house and stays with Abby all the time now. I miss Bill rubbing my big head and saying “Hi Baxter old boy”. I hate people getting old. I miss them too but Hank says we’ll see them again someday so I try not to think about it too much. So if you don’t think about things like death what do you think about Daisy? Right now I’m thinking about how to accessorize my new coat from Wal-Mart so it doesn’t look so Wal-Mart. Maybe I can repurpose some of my old outerwear and say it’s a retro classic look. What do you think about instead of getting old Baxter? I think about food! YUM!! What else is there to think about? Yesterday I was thinking about how nice it was last week when Hank went to the KFC and brought home a famous bowl AND a chicken pot pie! YUM!!

YUM!! Look at the feast Hank brought from KFC to share with us! CHICKEN!! YUM!!

The famous bowl was quite tasty. There was mashed potatoes, corn, cheese, and CHICKEN!! LOTS OF BITE SIZE CRISPY CHICKEN CHUNKS!! YUM!! I LOVE BITE SIZE CRISPY CHICKEN CHUNKS!! Yes. Baxter. The famous bowl was the perfect meal for us. Hank could eat the mashed potatoes and corn and cheese and share the chicken with us. I thought the chicken was very tasty. Very tasty! YUM!! The chicken pot pie wasn’t nearly as good though. Too much savory sauce, peas, and carrots and not nearly enough chicken for Hank to share. The chicken was all shredded and mixed up in the pie. It’s better for us when there are solid chunks of chicken so Hank can just give them to us.

We love going to the duck pond. Kathy feeds the ducks and geese while Daisy and I enjoy the smells! Sometimes we get to see the blue heron!

Another thing I think about is our trips to the duck pond. Every Sunday Hank and Kathy take us for a walk to the duck pond by the cemetery. Hank take pictures of the ducks, geese, and swans and Kathy feeds them bread. She give us some bread too! When bread is all there is to eat it’s my favorite food! YUM!!! But when we’re done taking pictures we each go to the corner and get beef stick treats! YUM!! I love beef stick treats! I like going to the duck pond too, Baxter. It’s so much fun! Not only do we get to see the other animals and eat bread and beef stick treats, there are all kinds of other dogs that walk there to howl at or sniff where they were. I don’t like to see other dogs too much but I do like to sniff around, especially in the fall. The leaves are full of squirrel and dog smells!

Even though Megan's more of a cat person, we got along famously!

Katie pets me and gives us beef stick treats! YUM!!

When I was depressed about my ailments last week I made myself happy by thinking about when Kathy’s sister Megan came to visit. She was very nice and gave me extra special attention even though she seems to be more of a cat person. I liked Megan too but I’m not very good with strangers. I kept my distance except when she had some beef stick treats. Do you know why, Daisy? Let me guess. Because you love beef stick treats? Because I LOVE BEEF STICK TREATS!! Yum? YUM!! I LOVE BEEF STICK TREATS!! YUM!! It was nice having her over and Kathy was thrilled she came to visit. Do you know what thrills me, Daisy? Let me guess, Baxter. Hmmm… Beef stick treats? Sure. But besides that I’m thrilled when our friends Monica and Katie come to visit. And why is that, Baxter? Because Katie is really nice when she pets me… and… and Katie gives us beef stick treats! YUM!! I LOVE BEEF STICK TREATS!! For once I agree with you Baxter. Katie and Monica are super nice to us and Katie always gives us beef stick treats. And not the tiny beef stick treats we get from Hank and Kathy. Katie brings us top quality large beef sticks like the Jack Links Matador brand. YUM!! I love top quality large beef sticks! YUM!! They are so much bigger, better, and tastier than the SIMMS brand Hank and Kathy get from the Aldi. I hope Hank and Kathy read this. HELLO!!!

I don’t like getting older when it means hurting my back or you getting sick, Daisy. I don’t like that part but we’ve had six great years to spend with Hank and Kathy, Baxter. And six years of walks and beef stick treats, too! YUM!! Don’t forget that since we walk at least 3 miles a day we’re in top physical condition. That’s right! We should have lots more years of walking… …and visits from our friends… …and trips to the duck pond… …and beef stick treats… OH BOY!! BEEF STICK TREATS!!! YUM!!!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

We LOVE your beagle stories!!! I saw your blog posted on Reddit a long time ago and now I look every week for new adventures of Baxter and Daisy. I like to read them to my husband with our beagle, Duke, snuggling between us. We really get a kick out of the sweet pups and their love for beef sticks!! We can't believe they share a home with a rabbit, our beagle likes to chase them around the yard! Please publish another story soon we enjoy them very much. From, a random beagle lover ❤