Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Beef Stick Connoisseurs

I've been so busy with my chess camp this week that I've once again called upon my guest bloggers - Baxter and Daisy to take time out of their busy schedule to provide their insight on yet another topic of great importance.

  Hi Everyone…It’s Daisy... and Baxter with another guest blog for all our fans. It’s about time Hank let us write another blog, Baxter. I haven’t cared much for his posts lately. I did enjoy the post about all the submarine sandwiches we helped him eat over the 4th of July weekend but if I had to read another TV review of a post-apocalyptic world I don’t know what I’d do. We spent a whole day of watching ‘The Walking Dead’ with him and we never saw a dog the whole time. Falling Skies’ doesn’t have any dogs either although there is a dog in ‘The Last Ship’. And a very handsome German Shepard it is. I wonder why none of these shows ever have any beagles. After all, we are the cutest and smartest breed of dog. And literate. Beagles are the most literate of dogs. Look at this blog! I can’t understand why we wouldn’t survive in a post-apocalyptic world. Probably because when the aliens or zombies got close we’d start barking and howling like crazy and get everyone killed. Or we’d sneak into the food supplies, eat all the food, and the survivors would all starve. I’m glad we don’t live in a post-apocalyptic world, Daisy. But if an apocalyptic event happens we should head to the nearest convenience store and stock up on beef sticks. That’s right Baxter. And speaking of beef sticks we sampled all the beef sticks at the nearby convenience stores this past Saturday for our annual convenience store awards. What a great day!! YUM!! I LOVE BEEF STICKS!! YUM!!

On the way to the Jiffy and our friend Vince, we scrounge for scraps at the Villager!

  For our first stop we went to the Jiffy convenience store at 5am on Saturday. Jiffy was the 2012 beef stick award winner. It’s a long walk to the Jiffy, Daisy! Yes, Baxter. It’s a mile and a half round trip to the Jiffy but we get to walk past two bars where people vomit sometimes. Hank and Kathy try to keep us from getting vomit but since its dark we get lots of tastes before they pull us away. YUM!!! Hank and Kathy get really mad when we eat vomit but since we’re dogs we really can’t help ourselves. And don’t forget about the Villager rooming house, Daisy. The Villager had a fire last year and it was empty for a long time but now it’s reopened. The Villager people leave candy wrappers and bags of chips in front of the building all the time and we get to snuffle and scrounge when we go past. I’m so happy the Villager is back open. Me too. Sometimes we’re already full when we get to the Jiffy but we can always find room for beef sticks. YUM!! The Jiffy has the fine Jack Link’s brand of beef sticks. They used to also carry Old Wisconsin but switched to Tillamook a few months ago. All the beef sticks are 2 for a dollar. Tillamook beef sticks are drier and smaller than Jacks Link’s and taste just as good but the Jiffy stopped carrying them last month. That’s alright Baxter. Jack Link’s make wonderful beef sticks and the Jiffy didn’t run out of them even once all year. Vince did a great job of keeping them stocked. And when Hank went to Okoboji in April, Kathy took us to the Jiffy anyway and Vince brought the beef sticks out to us so she wouldn’t have to leave us alone in the parking lot. Vince and the rest of the Jiffy crew were wonderful all year long. I’m giving the Jiffy 4 paws. I’m giving then four paws also, Daisy. I could get used to having our beef sticks brought outside to us. Jiffy rebounded from last year’s disappointing third place finish for a perfect score in 2014 thanks to Vince’s superior customer service.

Jiffy – 4 paws 

Not only does Kum & Go provide fine Jack Link's beef sticks, they also have fountain drinks for $1!

  Our next stop was to go to last year’s beef stick award winner, the Kum & Go! Before we go to the Kum & Go we take a long walk around to the cemetery at 9 in the morning. Sometimes Hank takes us to the duck pond in the cemetery. There’s ducks, a swan, geese, and goose poop! YUM!! I love goose poop. Hank hates it when we eat goose poop but since we’re dogs we can’t help ourselves and he gets over it. We have to cross a busy street to get to the Kum & Go. I don’t like the busy street but I love the Kum & Go! That’s because the Kum & Go also carries the fine Jack Link’s beef stick brand and because the Kum & Go is so busy their beef sticks are always fresh. Twice this year Hank said there weren’t any beef sticks in the dispenser but Jillissa the manager got some more for us. I like Jillissa! I like Jillissa too. We always have beef sticks when we go to the Kum & Go and when Jillissa took time off to have her baby Shawna took over and made sure we had plenty of beef sticks. Last year it was so hot that Kum & Go got extra credit for having crushed ice to have with our ice water but it’s been so cool that we’ve hardly needed crushed ice this year. I like that the Kum & Go always has fresh beef sticks and Jillissa is so friendly and makes sure we always have beef sticks and they cost 2 for a dollar just like the Jiffy. I have to give Kum & Go 4 paws again just like last year. I’ll give Kum & Go 4 paws also even though Jillissa has never brought the beef sticks out to us (we never asked her to). It’s great to have affordable beef sticks that we can always rely on.

Kum & Go – 4 paws 

Casey's beef sticks are expensive, but tasty!

  For our noontime walk we went to Casey’s General Store. Casey’s is 4 blocks away from the Kum & Go and we go through an alley to get there. There’s lot of garbage in the alley. Yesterday there were 3 Cheetos! YUM! I LOVE CHEETOS! One time I found a dead bird and I got a bite of it before Kathy pulled me away. I liked the Casey’s a lot last year before they raised their prices. We wrote about it in our last blog. That’s right Baxter! Now the beef sticks cost $1.08 for 2 or them. Hank says that they are 8% more at the Casey’s than anywhere else in town. We haven’t gone to the Casey’s very much since but there were 2 times that we took the walk and the Casey’s were out of beef sticks! Hank said when he asked if the clerk could go get some they just shrugged their shoulders and kept on eating their candy bars and sucking down their soft drinks. I was so sad. Casey’s carries the Old Wisconsin brand of beef sticks. They are fatter than the Jack Link’s but that’s because they are full of water and grease. I like Jack Link’s beef sticks better but I do like how the Old Wisconsin beef sticks slide down my throat. I’ll give the Casey’s 2 paws. I’m mad at Casey’s for charging more for their beef sticks than anyone else and I really didn’t like how when Hank bought a turkey sub from them last year there was hardly any meat for him to share with us. I’m giving the Casey’s one paw. I forgot about how little meat the Casey’s turkey sub had and Hank was hopping mad when they just shrugged their shoulders when they were out of their overpriced beef sticks instead of getting some more for us. You’re right Baxter! Casey’s is only getting one paw from me too. I am usually right, aren’t I? There’s a first time for everything, I suppose…

Casey's – 1 paw 

We often visit our friends Bill and Marilyn on our way to The Depot, which only has Slim Jim beef sticks. They are small but they are always in stock and cost 2 for $1.

  We didn’t get any beef sticks on our 3pm walk, Daisy. But we did get to visit with Marilyn and Becky and Marilyn rubbed my head. OH BOY! I was so sad we didn’t get any beef sticks but I do like to see Marilyn and Becky. We went for the same walk at 6pm and we got to stop at the Depot and on the way back we saw Becky Marilyn, and Bill. I like it when Bill rubs my head and says ‘Hi, Daisy old girl’. We pass The Depot every day on our night time walk. There’s always garbage to scrounge and sometime Hank goes in to get Slim Jims! The Depot doesn’t have any beef stick dispensers so Hank buys pre-packaged Slim Jims. They cost a dollar for 2. Slim Jims are small and greasy but I like to eat them because it’s so unexpected when we do get them. Yes Baxter. It’s like a special treat and I’m starting to appreciate how close The Depot is and that the Slim Jims are still 2 for a dollar. I’ll give The Depot 2 paws. I’ll give The Depot 2 paws also. Not only is there garbage to scrounge in their parking lot, Hank and Kathy find lots of coins there too!

The Depot – 2 paws 

  So we have a tie for the first time ever in our convenience store beef stick contest, Baxter. That’s right, Daisy. Both Vince at the Jiffy and Jillissa at the Kum & Go provided superior beef stick service and deserved the perfect scores they earned for their stores. And Hank said we found enough cans and bottles and spare change on the streets and saved enough money bringing beef sticks from Aldi instead of going to Casey’s that we could get trophies for this year’s winners! Vince was so happy to get a Daisy and Baxter beef stick award that he’ll be even nicer to us next year. Jillissa wasn’t working this weekend so we didn’t have a chance to present her trophy this weekend but we’ll make sure to get it to her soon. There was no award for Casey’s this year, Daisy. They went from second place in last year’s contest to last place this year. Well Baxter, since the Casey’s get an extra 8 cents for every 2 beef sticks they sell, they can go buy their own award!